Getting over myself - again

This morning I indulged in what is commonly known as a pity party.  I've been building up to it for the past few days and it finally let loose.  Bear in mind, this was all in my head, I was home alone and feeling sorry for poor, poor pitiful me.  I had started out thinking about planting pansies around our light in the front yard, a nice innocuous thought and then I started thinking about my knee and how hard it would be to kneel down to plant the flowers.  Then that thought went into other gardening I want to do as the weather gets warmer.  But then I started thinking about money or the lack thereof to do all this gardening.  And on and on it goes.  Finally I got tired of listening to myself whine, and I gave myself a swift figurative kick in the rear.  Seriously, what have I got to complain about?  I live in a lovely house with all the modern ameneties.  I have plenty of planters and seeds and dirt aren't that expensive.  I drive a nice car that gets awesome mileage.  I have more clothing, shoes, and purses than any one person would need.  I have books to read and a library very nearby.  I am relatively healthy, other than the aforementioned knee and some arthritis.  I have enough money for my basic needs.  So, why was I whining?  Then it struck me, I was whining and feeling sorry for myself because that pretentious person I had become while working in DC is starting to fade away - finally.  No more shopping sprees to Nordstrom or Tyson's Corner and all the other places I used to go.  No more driving a car I couldn't afford that had relatively lousy mileage and used high-test gas.  I had fallen into the mind-set of keeping up and surpassing the Joneses, except I had no idea who they are.  And I think on top of all of that, I had become boring.

So now here I am, not feeling sorry for myself and figuring out what I do want and need.  I need to be creative.  I have always enjoyed going to funky little antique or thrift shops and finding the one piece I was looking for that with a little cleaning or fixing would be perfect for an empty corner or shelf.  I love clothing and read fashion magazines. I used to make a lot of my clothing that followed current trends but had my own spin on them, so why not start doing that again. I like cooking and trying out new recipes.  Being creative is fun.  And I think that was behind the whole pity party in the first place. I'm not having a lot of fun, at least not the fun I need to make my life more fulfilling.  So, I'm going to get creative and do more with less and enjoy the hell out of every minute.  And, I am SOOOOO over myself!!!!!