Happy Holidays

It's that time of year where posts, ostensibly by "good Christians" are appearing on Facebook entreating people to not say Happy Holidays this time of year.  Evidently the use of the phrase is part of the "war on Christmas," whatever the heck that is. To the people making these posts I say Bah Humbug!

The use of the phrase Happy Holidays started in the 1890s.  Yes, those redoubtable Victorians who wholeheartedly embraced the Christmas season we celebrate today (minus Black Friday and Cyber Monday) used Happy Holidays throughout the entire Christmas Season.  The phrase was made more popular with the Irving Berlin Song and the movie Holiday Inn.  It picked up traction in the 1970s.

Between Thanksgiving and 12th Night or Epiphany there are a plethora of holidays.  In no particular order to the calendar here are just a few:  Thanksgiving, Advent, Bodhi Day, St. Nicholas Day, Our Lady of Guadalupe, St. Lucia's Day, Christmas Day, Boxing Day (St. Stephens Day), Pancha Ganapat, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, the Yule, New Year's Eve, Hogmanay, New Year's Day. I know there are holidays I left out, but I'm sure you get my drift.

So, to the people who get on their collective high horses about the use of Happy Holidays vs. Merry Christmas, I say "get over your collective selves"! And, be glad you live where you can freely say Merry Christmas, Seasons Greetings, Happy Holidays, Good Yule, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, or nothing at all.

Happy Holidays!!!

A Small Rant

When did it become acceptable for a bride and groom to send a cheesy photo of themselves holding signs that say "thank you" instead of writing thank you notes?  I recently saw one of these photos and was disgusted by the lack of good manners.

Were I to ask either the bride or the groom (neither of whom I know) why they couldn't be bothered to write thank you notes, I probably would have been told they are just "too busy".  Too busy? Seriously?

Were the people who received the invitations to your wedding "too busy" to open them?

Were the people who sent RSVPs "too busy" to put them in the mail?

Were the people who bought gifts or wrote a check "too busy" to do this for you?

Were the people who came from out of town "too busy" to travel to your wedding?

Everyone who attended your wedding has a life.  They have jobs, routines, responsibilities, and things to do - and yet, they set aside time out of their lives to attend your wedding. They could have been doing other things or even just enjoying downtime; but they got dressed up, left their homes, and went to your wedding.

And you repay them by sending a "thank you" photo. You should be ashamed of yourselves.  While sending these pictures may be considered "cute" or "trendy" by some, the majority of people who receive them think you are just lazy.  And they wonder, do you even know what they gave to you? And they also may wonder why they wasted the time and money to attend your wedding when you obviously thought so little of them you couldn't even be bothered to write a thank you note.

Shame. On. You.

The Heavens

This evening "D" called me to the kitchen to look out the windows at the moon. She was a beautiful and bright crescent. We both went out onto the deck to take photos, but nothing I took came out well. Since it was so clear and lovely I sat out for a while watching the sky.

There were so many stars winking at me it made me smile the entire time I was out there. I know there were planets in and among the stars, also a plane or two went by very high up, possibly a satellite as well. And, always UFOs!  But the nice aliens, not the ones to want take over our planet.

As I watched the night sky I thought about how alone we are. We sit on this little blue rock in the vastness of our galaxy, not to mention the universe, and all we do is fight. And hate. And become so incredibly ugly. Why?

I get caught up in all this nonsense at times, writing in anger or disgust over things others post online. When I surface from these ugly conversations, not wanting to ingest any more of the bile that is spewed, I wonder why I let myself get drawn into these things. Human nature? I do believe I am better than this. I know I was raised better than this.

This rock,the third rock from the sun, is all we have. And we are all we have. The worse enemy of any one of us, when cut, will bleed the same colour blood that I do. This enemy has the same organs that I do. But, this enemy has decided to hate me because of my __________(fill in the blank). And when my enemy or I die that's it for us. We're done. Finished. Through. All the time we wasted in hating has done nothing. We hate out of fear, or anger, or ignorance. Why?  I don't want to hate anyone, not even my worst enemy. Hate, for me, is a dead-end street. I'm not excusing all the vile things that are done by vile people. I'm not some sort Pollyanna or trying for sainthood. I'm saying that in my own very small way I am choosing, for whatever time I have left on this blue rock hurtling through space, that I am going to try my level best to be a nice person. That's it - just be nice.

Some days will be harder than others. I will, at times, probably show my middle finger to drivers who do insanely stupid things that nearly cause an accident. I will probably still yell at politicians in their 30second sound bites when they say something I find egregiously stupid. I will still get irritated over things too numerous to discuss. But, in all of this, I am still going to try to be nice. I'm not going to allow myself to get caught up in conversations online or in person that, in the end, can only cause harm to my well-being. I am not going to get caught up in all the drama that most people call "real life".

And when I falter, I am going to go back out on my deck and allow the moon and the night sky restore me to my better self.

Spirituality and Good Food

Recently I had the opportunity to go back to my home town in Ohio.  I had forgotten how beautiful it can be in autumn.  The trees weren't at peak but while I was there the temps dropped and there was some rain and then the colours were in full force everywhere. While I have seen beautiful autumns in various places around the country there is something about autumn where I grew up that tugs at my heart and fills me with joy.

While at home I had breakfast with a very dear friend.  We met at a restaurant called Der Dutchman.  I had heard of this restaurant but had never eaten there.  It's in Plain City, OH.  Plain City, surrounded by farms, once had a thriving Amish community.  As I was ambling, for I felt no urge to speed, down a two-lane highway I marveled at the neatness of the farms some still with corn stalks in their fields.  But there was a cleanness to their lines that shone against the blue sky. I know that farming is hard work, and I believe it is a calling as well. 

As I drove past these farms I thought about values that are taught in rural areas.  Like the value of hard work or of keeping promises.  And a strong and quiet belief in God.  Why has this gone so out of style? It seems these days that so many people prate on and on about what good Christians they are. The worst offenders are politicians.  But next to them are televangelists and preachers at the so-called mega churches.  I look at them with a great amount of mistrust because I don't feel they "walk the walk".  

I have always believed that a strong quiet faith in which a person is not exhorting other for money or votes or browbeating others to convert to "the only true faith" is the way to live. It is the people of this strong and quiet faith, in any religion, who do the most good in the world because they work the hardest at their faith.  They're not perfect, they probably falter more than we would ever know, but they're not crying on TV about their missteps.  They pray, ask for guidance, and continue working.  I think this sort of faith has gone out of style.  It isn't flashy, it isn't newsworthy, and it isn't easy.  But, for me, it makes sense and it's how I wish to live. I'm not a regular church goer and I do, at times, beat myself up over it.  I know of several Episcopal churches near me but getting out the door is so difficult, or rather I make it difficult. But I keep persevering in my belief that I will make it sooner rather than later. Even if I were a regular church goer I wouldn't talk about it much, I wouldn't put "Jesus" bumper stickers on my car or constantly post on Faceboook about what a good Christian I am. I always feel people like that are trying to impress others while at the same time convincing themselves of their goodness and superiority. 

When I came back home I was running some errands one afternoon and I was filled, again, with great joy, for I felt that I have an embarrassment of riches. I had some groceries along with new underwear (a necessity at times) in my trunk and new books to read at home plus a couple I had just gotten at the library.  This feeling is still persisting and it's so joyous and hopeful. 

What has all of this to do with good food.  Well, it's about the Der Dutchman restaurant.  They are a small chain in Ohio with one restaurant in Florida, the link is below.  It is simple, plain food.  And it is delicious.  It was one of the best breakfasts I have ever had.  Everything was fresh, there was nothing processed or pre-made and reheated, and I enjoyed every single bite.  Well, except for the fried cornmeal mush my friend ordered for me, I just didn't like it.  I don't like corn fritters or grits either.  Just a personal taste.  If you ever get the chance to go to a Der Dutchman restaurant do it, it's worth the drive, even to go a bit out of your way.  Take the time to enjoy a good meal, it's a good place to relax and you will enjoy every bite.  And maybe while you're driving there you'll find some peace and joy and enjoy the beauty of the earth and sky.

http://www.dhgroup.com/en/seg/restaurants.php 

A Binge. A Purge. A Fast

No, this isn't about some weird new weight loss program involving beet juice and bean curd - ewwww. This is about a change in my life and more importantly in my thinking.  I really, really like to shop.  And given my present income that's not a smart thing to do.  So, I am going to fast, but first.....

The binge:  I went on a mammoth shopping spree that started in 2007 and didn't really end until now. I won't go into the reason I started on this path, but I went on it full tilt.  I bought clothes, shoes, jewelry, purses, and then bought more of the same. I bought things I didn't like that I ended up returning or giving away.  And I didn't buy inexpensive items, I went to stores where they fawned all over me, stroking my ego until I bought something. I even bought a Volvo.  Almost all of that stuff is now gone.  And that's where the purge begins.

Since we moved here I've been systematically getting rid of things.  I've sold all of the expensive jewelry.  I don't miss it - well that's not true - I wish I hadn't sold one piece, but it was necessary. I gave the Volvo back to the bank.  I consigned a lot of my clothing, but I also would keep buying things.  I had my walk-in closet and half of the walk-in closet in the guest room full of clothing - a good part of which I never wore.  I had two dressers full of clothes.  At least four huge storage bags full of clothes.  And then there were the purses.  Most of the designer purses are gone - either consigned or sold on ebay.  Again, I don't miss them.

But starting in this past August the real purge began.  I went through everything.  I was ruthless in culling my wardrobe.  A lot of items went to charity, a few went to consignment, and a very small amount got tossed.  I am now down to one closet and one dresser.  There are still two storage bags, but the clothing is seasonal.  I can't even begin to write about how good it felt to get rid of all these items.  I didn't realize it at the time but all of this "stuff" was weighing me down. I was surrounded by so much I didn't need or want.  And now to the fast....

I've been reading a newsletter about a minimalist lifestyle. One article I read really stuck with me, it was about going on a shopping fast.  Specifically shopping for clothing.  Such a great concept.  So as of the beginning of October I am on a shopping fast.  My goal is to not buy any new items of apparel.  None.  Zip. Nada.  However, there are one or two caveats.  Underwear -sort of essential, so I will allow that and my favorite pair of New Balance shoes will not last another year, and I wear these a lot - especially in the colder weather.  I will have to replace those.  But nothing else, I hope to expand this fast to include purses - that's a tough one because I really, really, really like purses!

And, if I just have to have something new....I have a large dresser drawer full of fabric and a sewing machine. I used to be a good seamstress, so I need to dust off those skills because that is the only way I will get any new clothing!

I think this will be difficult at times, but in the long run it is a challenge worth taking.

Shoes

Now with a title like that most women are all atwitter! We are characterized as shoe crazy, but that's because shoes make us crazy!

Why do they make us crazy?  Too short. Too long. Heels too high. Heels to low. Too cheap. Too expensive. Too trendy. Not trendy enough. Wrong colour. Out of stock. Our "frenemy" bought the same pair. Too sexy. Not sexy enough. On and on it goes.

My problem with shoes is different. I don't care about trends. I don't wear heels - nor do I want to. I can't find nice, reasonably priced shoes that have a lot of support and are orthotic friendly.

Type orthotic friendly shoes into any search engine and it's amazing what comes up. Sneakers, or if you prefer, athletic shoes. You might get oxfords, which can sometimes be cute - but try putting an orthotic in them. Lace-up boots can work, but they don't work with some outfits.

Is it so difficult for shoe manufacturers to design a shoe that is pretty, can be worn with a dress or skirt, that I can wear with my orthotic. Oh, and offers good support.

The answer is a resounding NO!  I've been to those stores in the mall that supposedly have shoes that will work with orthotics. I've been to department stores that carry "specialty shoes". What's special about them is the price!!

So I wear my sneaks most everywhere. And I own one of black and one pair of brown oxford-type shoes that I can wear, with slacks, when a bit more refined apparel is required. I order shoes or boots that look promising, only to return them. D shakes his head at that, but this a man who owns two pairs of shoes. Sadly the boots I showed on a previous blog are going back. No support at all and they made my feet look like they were twice as long as they are. Seriously?  Who wants that?  Ok, maybe some people do, but it's not for me.

It's sad. I have some lovely skirts and dresses I'd like to wear if only shoe manufacturers could quit designing shoes with stratospheric heels all the time and make the perfect shoe - for me. Is that asking too much?

What I did on Saturday

Today was a really good day. The weather was beautiful and the sun was shining. Perfect day to go take care of shopping for an item that for some women, while not quite a nightmare (some say that designation is reserved for bathing suits), certainly can be a chore.  I'm talking about shopping for bras.

It's been quite a while since I was last measured and about that long since I bought any new bras. And, trust me, they were needed. So I went to Lane Bryant. Since I am a plus-size woman I knew I would find the most variety in sizes and styles there.

First I got measured. Lo and behold my bra size had changed. Which, if you think about it, makes sense. Our bodies go through all sorts of changes - we gain weight, we lose weight, we gain or lose some more. We have children, we go through menopause, we get older. I had the most helpful clerk, I told her I prefer cotton so she pulled several cotton bras and talked me into trying on one that wasn't cotton.

WOW!!!!  The new size made such a difference. The girls were situated where they belong and lookin' good!  The only downside was the price. While Lane Bryant is currently having a 'Buy Two - Get One Free' promotion they were still a bit out of my price range today.  But, not all was lost - there was a rack with all the bras priced at $16.99. The clerk went through the rack and found several in my size. AND, they were part of the promotion!  So I got three bras for the price of one!  SCORE!!!  Next month I will go back and buy the two styles I originally tried on - they will be having a 'BOGO' sales on all their bras in October.

The moral of this story is - go get measured every couple of years and TRY EVERYTHING ON!  It
is worth the little extra time and effort.  And in the end you will save time and money and you will look fantastic!

As for the rest of the day......

We had Mahi Mahi for dinner. I dredged it in a little flour and added Chef Paul Prudhomme's Magic Blackened Redfish Seasoning to it. Cooked it in olive oil. Delicious.  Also tried a new product. Minute Rice has come out with a Multi-Grain product. It has brown rice, Thai red rice, wild rice, and quinoa. It was very good - has a slight nutty flavor, I didn't add any seasoning - next time I will add.....something.  But it is definitely a keeper in our pantry. Tribe Hummus has a new "limited" flavor - it 's called 'Everything' inspired by Everything Bagels. Since I like hummus and I like everything bagels - it's a no brainier. Had it with some cut up carrots at lunch. Another keeper.

So that was my Saturday. As I said earlier, it was a good day. Hope y'all had a good day as well and I hope all of your favorite football teams win tomorrow!!!